2025.06.17
In 2019, the City of Montreal performed an inspection visuelle de la condition de l’ensemble des ruelles situées sur le territoire de la Ville de Montréal. The dataset available on Montreal's Open Data Portal contains information about 6,907 alleys' length and width, surface material, drainage condition, pavement condition, and an overall rating. I can't say for certain, but I assume this data was taken by an intern for purposes of future resource allocation and repaving prioritization.
In much of Montreal, alley culture is a significant contributer to community quality and neighborhood vibe. While the study only covers the infrastructure characteristics of the alley surface and is not indicative of vibe quality, there is something very funny to me about assigning an "overall" objective rating to a deeply beloved community hub for any neighborhood.
Of the full dataset, there are only 4 alleys who achieved the "worst" rating, an overall score of 4.5/5. This weekend I spent a day with friends on bikes, touring these four worst alleys of Montreal to see how bad they are, and check up on if they've been improved since the study 6 years ago.
In addition to reviewing the scores these alleys were given during the 2019 study, I've also decided to assign them a vibe rating based on overall alley coziness, coolness, or community. Scoring is done in the same (non-intuitive) way as the database, where 1 is the least worst and 5 is the most worst.
2019 Condition surface: Mauvais. Condition drainage: Passable
Alley 1 looks like it may have had some potholes filled in the last 6 years, but I agree that the drainage and pavement surface looks terrible. It has certainly not been resurfaced since being identified as one of the worst alleys in the city. We walked/cycled the length of it and were impressed that further north the alley had a wonderful neighborhood vibe and certainly transcended the shitty pavement of its thoroughfare.
We're giving this a vibe rating of 2/5 - pretty good!
2019 Condition surface: Mauvais. Condition drainage: Mauvais
Alley 2 is a very short segment of the alley south of St. Zotique off of Chambord. The small segment of alley identified as one of the worst in Montreal is not quite as deteriorated as Alley 1, but there are also fewer repairs. The highlight of the visit was the quick side trip we made to the adjacent alley, where we found an excellent community vibe -- complete with free anti-austerity pins, a community bulletin board, and children's toys strewn about. We briefly met the very friendly person responsible for refilling the free pins, fantastic vibes all around.
We're giving the actual segment on the list a vibe rating of 4/5 - pretty terrible. But the adjacent alley just to the south gets a 1/5 - excellent!
2019 Condition surface: Mauvais. Condition drainage: Passable
Alley 3 is a dark segment between St. Laurent and St. Dominique that is in terrible condition. Along the walls of the adjacent buildings there are sinkholes where the pavement has collapsed in on itself and nature has begun to regain some territory. The database marks the surface as being "pavement" rather than "concrete" which is an indicator of how many times this alley has been patched up without the proper resurfacing. Through gaps of broken pavement, it's possible to see concrete slab cracking underneath. There is trash thrown into some of the more spacious potholes.
A friend recently introduced me to the concept of "multipliers" and "diviers" -- skills a person can have that either boost or reduce their attractiveness. E.g. an attractive person is good at baking: multiplier. An attractive person is good at Call of Duty: divider (fight me). In this alley there is a bollard painted to look like a minion with a martini. I can't decide if it's a multiplier or a divider, so I'm not going to include the minion in the final vibe score. But thought people should know he's here, watching.
I'm giving this alley a vibe rating of 4.5/5 - I think this may be the worst alley in Montreal. Sinkholes, walls devoid of character, an indescribable darkness.
2019 Condition surface: Passable. Condition drainage: Mauvais
Alley 4 was an excellent end to the day of alley touring, because it is the only one that has been resurfaced. Good job, Montreal! We had a quick chat with some of the neighbors who confirmed it was repaved a few years ago. The surface looks good, drainage looks good, and the vibe is squarely average. No real signs of community engagement between properties, and only a single piece of art at the end of the alley. The best parts of this alley were the 5 garage sales we stopped at on the way there and back: 1/5 - excellent people, excellent secondhand slippers.
I'm giving the alley itself a vibe rating of 3/5 - nice local folks, but not many alley artifacts to look at.
The data is interesting to review after the tour. Given that only one of the four worst alleys have been resurfaced since the study in 2019 (6 years before this post), it doesn't seem like the data was used for repaving prioritization. I hope the intern who got to spend a summer visiting all of Montreal's alleys had a lovely time exploring these overlooked parts of the city; we certainly did.~
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